November 15, 2020
What kindness did someone show you today?
I’m going to have to pull the “confidentiality” card on this one. 🙂
Author: Katness Harriet
▪ Hopeful Human ▪ [she/her/Mx] ▪ 🌈
Day 14 – 30 Days of Gratitude
November 14, 2020
What do you like about where you live?
I’ve always been a “home is where your feet are” sort of person. Not non-sentimental, but just happy to be where it’s dry, warm & welcoming. However, we bought our first home this year and the idea of becoming settled is starting to sink in a bit more every day.
We had a lot of potential options when we were looking at houses. Initially, we were going to buy the house we were renting. It was in a very small but vibrant neighborhood, close to work, church and activities, and we loved the amenities of the area. But the purchase fell through, and rather than continue to rent, we decided to expand our search.
Both of our families are about an hour away, in opposite directions. Moving to either one of them would’ve been nice but would’ve required sacrificing the life we spent three years building in this town. We looked at a dozen areas around the town we were in, but most were too rural to be worth uprooting, and still far from family.
Ultimately, we decided to move about three miles away from our rental neighborhood. We couldn’t deny that we loved this town. My husband and I had both spent large chunks of our adult lives living in cities, so even though we both were raised in rural areas – country farm life for him, small town America for me – it had been a leap of faith to relocated to this town when we did.
This is the best mix for us. It is definitely rural, but we have a “small town” downtown with a sprinkle of restaurants, a beautiful library, a coffee shop, diner, parks for the baby to play at, and even a grocery store. Everyone is friendly when you run into them, but they leave you to live your life.
Additionally, this area is beyond compare. We are surrounded by beautiful hills and landscape, large bodies of water, hiking, trails, state parks, and wonderful people to share it with. Or, not.
Day 13 – 30 Days of Gratitude
November 13, 2020
What about your body are you grateful for?
For all of its faults, I must say that I’m impressed that my body still carries me at all. I have beaten this thing to oblivion and rode back in the same night. I was not particularly careful with my physical actions when I was young.
I attribute this repetitive abuse to a sort of betrayal punishment. You see, I never much cared for my body – or rather, that my body was such a hot topic of conversation. And I abused myself in efforts to somehow prove that my body was just fine the way it was given to me by God – that my thick legs were powerful enough to lift other large humans, or move pianos by myself, or carry things that I had no business carrying without help.
A therapist once called it ‘body dysmorphia’ but I can pinpoint exactly the moment when I realized that people were judging my body, and holding their opinions against my value as a human. That moment never leaves me completely. And it used to paralyze me.
I was a “chunky” kid. All the other kids in my family & peer groups were “normal” size, with perfectly behaving hair. Or at least, that’s what my mother would have me believe. I don’t think she intended to, or realized she was planting seeds of her own self-hatred into me, but they grew like wildflowers. From that moment of awakening, I never again went a single day without stressing out over something my body wasn’t – in comparison to someone else.
These days, I am mostly at peace with my physical body. Maybe it came with age. Perhaps it was a collateral gift from therapy. It might have been the wakeup call of rehab after a fall down a flight of stairs. Maybe it was nothing more than the ability to show myself some grace. These days, my favorite part of my body is that it still works, even when it groans…and pops, cracks and snaps.
Day 12 – 30 Days of Gratitude
November 12, 2020
What made you laugh today?
Today, I realized I accidentally thawed the Thanksgiving turkey. So we had turkey for dinner. I laughed very hard at myself. Grace isn’t just a prelude to supper. Ugh.
Day 11 – 30 Days of Gratitude
November 11, 2020
What freedoms are you grateful for?
This Veteran’s Day I would be remiss to not place the Freedom of Speech at the top of my list. I am not a Veteran myself, but I come from a family chock full of Vets on all sides, from all branches of the U.S. military. The sacrifices of those who walked ahead, will never be lost on me. It is because of them that I am able to do things like complain about politicians, share my spiritual beliefs, love whomever I want to who also loves me…even if they don’t agree with my stance. Even better, we don’t have to agree in order to appreciate each other.
Day 10 – 30 Days of Gratitude
November 10, 2020
What is something you love in nature?
I think the best part of nature is being in it, especially when the weather is warm. If nothing else was available to me, I would still wish for water. I love the waves, babbling streams, roaring rapids, still ponds, rhythmic tides. I love to watch it from up high. I love to submerge in it up to my nostrils and watch the surface at eye level. Floating with my ears submerged, silencing the noise of the world, as I meditate on the clouds above is the closest thing to Heaven that I have found on Earth.
I grew up on a lake, during the summers. I was a strong swimmer and spent every moment of my childhood possible in a swimsuit and some sort of water. I taught others to swim, and to respect and love the water. Eventually, I taught my own children to swim and pay homage to the gods of swim. And then when I was 28 years old, I almost drowned in a man-made lake, for no reason whatsoever. It would take five years to trust myself in a large body of water again, and I still have nightmares about that day. But I will always go back to her.
Day 9 – 30 Days of Gratitude
November 9, 2020
What challenge are you grateful for?
I currently have two challenges standing in the way of a giant, pressing goal.
The primary challenge is the lesser of the two. I have a young toddler, and the inability to work outside the home because of that reality. While this is definitely a challenge, it is one I am grateful for. I realize this chapter of my life is merely a bridge, and I attempt to soak in all the bounty and glory of it every single day.
The bigger of my two challenges is my neurodivergent brain, and the doors it has shut in my life.
I’m still working out how to outsmart the former. We’ll get there eventually.
Day 8 – 30 Days of Gratitude
November 8, 2020
What is one thing you love about yourself?
I have been anxious about this prompt since the moment I saw it in the list. What do I love about myself…that won’t also seem arrogant? I haven’t always loved myself, much less any singular thing that could be written about. And I refuse to reduce my worth down to physical attributes. I spent decades drowning in the poisonous expectations of other people who convinced me that I was not up to standards.
So what will I allow myself to celebrate?
I am a persistent SOB, if nothing else.
That’s good enough for now. 🙂
Day 7 – 30 Days of Gratitude
November 7, 2020 – Eleven Year Anniversary
What happened today that you are grateful for?
Back story: The first conversation I had with my husband was by text on Halloween night. It was 2009 and I was in Ohio visiting family. It was a Saturday night, and I was back at a hotel after kid-centric festivities. He was using the internet at Borders (if you remember that store, you’re welcome for the time warp haha) working his side gig and hoping I would answer his instant message. I had never seen his face, nor heard his voice. I had seen a picture of his face, but it was black and white. I took a leap and gave him my cell number so we could text. I was slightly worried that it was to be a plot point in the murder mystery story about my life, but data was more expensive than texts, and text was faster than instant messaging services on a website — that were not really all that instant. Plus, I was intrigued and didn’t really have a lot going on once the kids were in bed.
We chatted well past midnight and made a date for the following Saturday. We talked through the coming week and I liked this person who was taking up residence in my phone. That said, I never thought it would amount to much of anything. Up to that point, I had not had much luck in love or dating at all. I was more interested in having fun in a new city that was bigger than my own. For the fresh air and perspective. For the distraction from my annoying and busy day life.
It was an unseasonably warm night, much like this weekend. I wasn’t actually sure who I was going to meet, but I’d hoped my intuition would fill me in. I got lost in the parking garage and walked right by him twice. The first pass was an honest miss. The second was a fly by to figure out if I wanted to go through with it. But before I could decide to stick it out or fly forever, he spotted me & excitedly waved me down. What followed was the most exciting night of my life, up to that point. I wrote the following status message once I got home. Apparently he couldn’t sleep either, because we texted until the sun came up the next morning.
Today: What am I grateful for? Today he surprised me by taking the day off so that we could spend time together and enjoy a beautiful “summer” day (in November). I’m grateful for his ability to keep my on my toes, all these years later. I’m grateful for his presence in my life. And I’m grateful for the annual reminders from social media, that I once almost missed out on the grandest adventure. 
Day 6 – 30 Days of Gratitude
November 6, 2020
On Fridays, I sometimes drive my youngest son to his dad’s house. It’s a 45-minute drive one way, and other than the captive company of children in a car, it’s not usually particularly remarkable. We left midmorning to attempt to avoid disrupting the baby’s nap schedule too much. We made a pitstop to the store for some snacks for him, and supplies for the house. The roads were pretty clear and the skies were, too.
I dropped him off and headed home. I was mere moments away from their house when I noticed a sight I hadn’t witnessed on the way up the hill. The descent took us through a tunnel of multicolored leaves hanging on for dear life to gnarled branches. The sensation was not unlike one of those kid-sized burrowing tunnels. As I write this, I’m wondering if those still exist? They were something like flexible plastic dryer vents, but about two feet across with designs on the outside and “air holes” strategically placed throughout.
I wish I had taken a picture, but I was so caught up in the moment that I didn’t think of it until much later.
KH Sprague 